A Hate Poem

Man do I hate you,
And the fact that you can make me hate you
Makes me hate you so much more
I mean I gave you my all and you still asked for more
I told you I loved you and you still treated this as a chore
Like it was something you had to do but really didn’t want to
As if I'm the nigga whose holding you back
Remember the days you used to blow up my phone to hear my voice
Remember that?
Remember when you used to cook for me when I got home from school
Remember that?
And now I'm wondering what happened to that girl and where she's at
Because it does in fact appear that you’re different
When i started to care you seem to have gotten a little distant
But what you SAY and what you WANT are two different things
I gave you what you SAID you wanted but what good did that bring
I mean you complain more than ever and I hate you more than ever
But saying that makes me look weak, cause the truth remains
I wanna go back to the days when you made my heart beat
But that shit is a wrap, after all I've seen too much to go back
I seen you turn from that sweet girl to a ratchet bitch
And i hate using that word but right now, it fits
“When we were together we never turned our backs on each other,
And now that we're separated we can’t stand one another”
Avant spoke the truth in that song
We reached a point where we can barely get along
Logic doesn’t seem to help and I can’t fix this shit by myself
So I guess that means I let it go, and if I want some sex I'll let you know
“I only came here for two reasons”, that’s for your love and you loyalty
I miss those days where you used to spoil me
I mean I ain’t never have that shit growing up
So you taking care of me made it easy for me to open up
But nowadays people put on a front and change once they get comfortable
Damn, look what the fuck this is coming too
Me writing hate poems, while you send hate texts
Me saying I'm done with you, while you saying not yet
Then me ignoring you for days thinking it’s done, it’s over with
Then you popping up out of nowhere, even when I said I quit
It’s hard to take my own advice and sometimes I wish I could go back in time,
To the day when we first met, and just walk away with no regrets
Cause what our relationship amounted to was a bunch of bullshit
You did this and you did that, we both are wrong but we never wanna admit.
We talked about Love Pains and how those seem to hurt
But with all this anger I feel towards you now, I know this will never work.
So this is closure.
All those fighting to make it work days are over, and I proudly handled it like a solider
You may not have been the one for me,
But thanks to you now I know for sure that I'm getting closer.

Love Pains

You used to make my heart throb, now you make my stomach turn
Could of took the bitter route but it’s just another lesson learned
You used to brighten up my days, now I can’t stand the thought of you
We used to be so close who would have thought we end up like this
Convinced, we knew what love was but you don’t blame love for this
I mean could love really turn people from friends, to lovers, then to enemies
I mean I would have settled for you just being friends with me
But love pains make it hard to see you as a friend to me
Love pains take my consciousness and turns it to self-consciousness
Convinced I was the cause of this, destroying all of my confidence
But even love has a consequence
And we all hate to admit it,
But love can get the best of us and change our lives within minutes
I mean it’s complicated explaining it
A guy like me tries to run away from it
Having prior heartbreak experience scares me to put my faith in it
They break parts of the heart and leave with parts of the soul
Invest so much time and love and that that damage takes its toll
So when we are finished I'm left with half of a whole
Funny how quickly something new can become something old.
What do we gain from love pains,
Nothing more than feelings of being deranged
Days of never ending rain, and I swear every time I hear your name
I just want to go insane, but instead I refrain
Maintain my composure and hold my emotions back
Love pains seems to be the cause all of that
Love pains, love cries, love hurts, and love dies
But why, won’t these pains just go away
They say hurt people, hurt people
And the fact that I look at you as equal
Reassures that one mistake can pierce you like a needle
But love must go through pain as well
Seeing so many marriages and relationships fail
So much, people taking others for granted and betrayal
It seems like love would work when there’s winter in hell
But optimistically, there’s always a possibility
The best moments of love seems to always lie in history
But still have the same chances of getting your heartbroken
The pain of giving your all and having it all stolen
Hurt is inevitable and love pains can cause it
But with the right love in your heart you can guard it
Otherwise you can’t expect someone to love you, it won’t work
So always remember to love yourself first.

Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Malcolm,
I wanna write to you, don’t be confused
Just listen, don’t be amused
I know you're young but these are some tools
You can use to make sure your life turns out better
And I know right now you’re feeling like you’ll live forever
But sometimes being reminded that you’re only human can save you
Not trying to debate with you, just trying to reshape you
Who am i?
I'm the person who's been catching each and every one of your tears
I'm the person who held you through all of your fears
I'm the person who watched you grow through all of these years
Confused much?, cause right now you’re saying "there was nobody there"
But let’s be clear, you had me and I was always here
All you ever had was me so i just want you to know
Don’t ever feel like you are alone
I wanna give you some premature warnings of some things you didn’t know
And make sure you make the right decisions when you’re feeling low
Some of your biggest mistakes are saying Yes when you wanted to say No
And I know you don’t have many friends and holding on to them is important
But those people will walk all over your and all that anger will lie dormant
You bottle it up inside and though your shy, no don’t lie
We both know your shy, the quiet guy who keeps to himself
That’s you, scared to interact, that’s true
But keep this in mind that you, have potential
Even though people don’t see it, In you, don’t let that be the reason its goes to waste,
You’ll realize it one day, but why not a sooner date?
You feel like the bad guy, everyone turns their back on you right?
Well what better feeling then to succeed when they’re not watching
It’s alright, everyone already thinks your plotting, always with such a serious face, and a mean face.
But when they turn back around they will be looking at a man
A Man they didn’t know existed inside of you Malcolm, its true
For I am you, I know your pain, your fears,
When you cry, how many tears, when you'll mature, how many years
But the purpose of this is, not to spoil your future, but to make sure you
Keep all those goals intact, I know your goals, you have talent
And if you don’t let anyone bring you down or through you off balance
Let’s just say you eventually managed to take the proper path
Even though you hate school Malcolm, you’re a genius when it comes to math
Even though you're quiet guy, you have a gift to make people laugh
And I'd tell you to stop acting an ass, but who am I, I laugh more
Than anyone else do.
Class clown in high school, but the biggest achievement is that honor roll you made
Remember those days when you wanted to give up, this goes to show that you can accomplish anything,
Turn your past around and chase any dream,
my advice to you is for you to be proud of yourself and build your self-esteem,
Walk with your head held high and always aim for the sky,
That shy guy will no longer be you one day but don’t rush it
Your first love, loved you for it, but not to get off topic
I just want to tell you, all those days of being bad for attention
Will help put you on the right direction
Cause without some light and dark you couldn’t see your reflection
Who you are is what you make yourself to be
And though you have a rough road ahead of you
You'll eventually become Me.

PS Don't skip school during finals week on those half days when you turn 16. Trust me.