Sunday, February 10, 2013

What If You Knew...

Sometimes I used to think about walking away from it all
Despite all that I've accomplished sometimes you just hit a wall
Forgetting about the falling and rising it took me to get here
But let’s be clear, you couldn’t judge me on my worst day
I've felt like a winner in situations and still didn’t come in 1st place
Yea, I'm doing ok for myself now, but what do you know about my struggles
What do you know about trying to juggle 3 jobs and a fulltime student status
Thinking you can take it all on, but having that contribute to your madness
What do you know about going days not having any food in your fridge
Being too proud to reach out, pretending your friends fell of the grid
What do you know about not having any family to turn to
No support system to see to it that you can make it through
What do you know about growing up not knowing if you mom is dead or alive
Creating these fake images cause you never seen her with your own eyes
What do you know about witnessing your father doing drugs
Beating you, and torturing you because that’s how he shows “his love”
What do you know about having to wear the same clothes everyday for a year
Having to take the verbal abuse at school and pretend like you don't care
What do you know about being put through child services
Feeling unwanted at the same time as all this anger surfaces
What do you know about not having a roof over your head
Sleeping on the floor cause some group homes didn’t have any beds
What do you know about being homeless, yea you see them on the streets
But what if you knew that used to be me,
What if you knew I was that kid starving from not eating in days
What if you knew I was that kid abused and having to live life afraid
What if you knew I was that kid getting kicked out of school for not having good grades
What if you knew I was that kid everyone wanted to stay away from because he couldn’t control his rage
What if you knew all this, would you still look at me the same?
But yet we judge others and are so quick to throw dirt on their name
Assuming we know, but don’t even know about the background from where they came
But it’s true, the past can change you
Having nobody there in my darkest hours taught me to rely on myself
Having no food or shelter taught me how to provide for myself
Having no material items taught me how to appreciate my wealth
And after going through all that I can say is that, I'm proud of myself
Because I see people lose it over something so small
Thinking if they were me they wouldn’t be able to survive at all
I try to laugh to catch my anger, but I know
Not everyone experiences a life changing struggle
Not everyone can turn out different from a life full of trouble
But not everyone is meant to,
God gives his hardest battles to the strongest soldiers
And I'm thankful cause for years I've carried this weight
But now I can finally lift it off my shoulders
I made it this far, I still have a long ways to go
But I just wanted to tell you about me,
For all those people who think they already know...

3 comments:

  1. What do you know about being molested or raped...being a straight A student and being knocked off your path because of one night. What do you know about contracting an sti from someone you barely knew what do you know about having your clothes tattered and thrown in a trash bag what do you know about feeling victimized and unable to express the pain and shame you felt all after one night? What do you know about not being able to walk the campus grounds with the fear of something like that happening again? What do you know about losing your identity and sense of self all in one night to the point you attempt suicide Malcolm? Thought you'd might have some insight.
    -forever scarred

    ReplyDelete
  2. What do you know about being molested or raped...being a straight A student and being knocked off your path because of one night. What do you know about contracting an sti from someone you barely knew what do you know about having your clothes tattered and thrown in a trash bag what do you know about feeling victimized and unable to express the pain and shame you felt all after one night? What do you know about not being able to walk the campus grounds with the fear of something like that happening again? What do you know about losing your identity and sense of self all in one night to the point you attempt suicide Malcolm? Thought you'd might have some insight.
    -forever scarred

    ReplyDelete
  3. What if i knew you should be locked up

    ReplyDelete