These Headphones

Headphones on, volume up, then it’s fuck the world
I get comfort in these headphones
Listening to my problems accompanied with melodies
Gives me the escape I need from stress when I'm alone
Any overwhelming stress gets dealt with by this overwhelming bass
And it’s felt in the form of chords that take me all the way to outer space
While I'm up here my sight becomes my ears and I hear
Every emotion that I fear in the form of lyrics to a beat
And suddenly every issue is conquered by rhythm of my feet
As I tap my foot and break my neck,
Listening to all these different playlists
Each song manages to take me to different places
And these headphones become my drug and replaces my real problems,
Ever since I put these headphones on I seem to have forgotten all about em'
I get more of a reality through these headphones than life on a day to day basis
I tune out, turn up the volume and listen to all my problems that I'm facing
The way my problems are recited to me makes me feel heavily sedated
Because my getaway is in these headphones that I've been anxiously awaiting
I turn up the volume to drown out all these irrelevant predicaments
And these instruments become instrumental in my deliverance
From this false imprisonment that this life has given me
And after experiencing music I realized that I'm trapped in reality
But these headphones have powers, they removed those shackles
Fought my battles, made me a King and constructed me a castle
See these headphones gave me the capability of creating my own cosmos
Cause I control, the flows of melodic notes
I'm consoled, by each dose of this harmonic soul
When I can't find the comfort in life, I find that comfort in these headphones
Music as deep as a baritone in different varieties as a xylophone
Music has been a stepping stone, to me fortifying my vigor
People feel better knowing when others are going through something similar
Problems weighing down on you so hard you can feel like a prisoner
But listening to a song that speaks to you precisely
Has the precise means of altering your mood quite nicely
In a way that you insert "your name" in every mention of "a name"
No longer feeling ashamed of the being binded and constrained
Cause when your headphones are on, and the volumes up, its fuck the world
Every time I put on these headphones
This music takes me to another zone
Volume so loud my mind's blown
Then I take another step back in my castle
Remove those shackles, have a seat on my throne.
Cause with these headphones, I am at home.

Directions To Your Heart

Nowadays words just don't hold enough feelings

Sometimes I want to tell you how I'm feeling

But I can't express it through words

In contrast to some of the things you've probably heard

I am not the guy to shy away from my past, but to embrace it

We've all done things we aren’t proud of but we can’t erase it

Instead when you face it, you're faced with a decision

To either let it break you or build you

And I choose to yield to your will boo

So whatever you'll have me do, I'll do it

I may lack the affection you need

But don't give up on me yet, class just started

I have all the materials I need, so you can remain unguarded

Playing games are outdated so I'll resort to being truthful

I wish I knew how to love the way that you do

I just lack your instruction

In order for me to function, we’ll base love as the curriculum

You can teach me how to love and we'll keep games to a minimum

Because I found something in you that I should cherish

Having that once in a lifetime feeling of ecstasy you don’t want to perish

See I hit your love under an X in the sand

And that music that used to come from my chest is now coming from your hands

You hold something dear to me, and you can see the fear in me

Every time I rode the love wave I wiped out

Drowning in a sea of regrets that lead to love doubts

But I found my way back and you were my guiding light

Swam through it, and found the sun in the darkest of nights

It’s evident you were heaven sent, Just wonder where you stored your wings

Never thought I'd meet someone who can treat a peasant like he's a king

You cleared my palace sat me down and called it my throne now

I wanted to repay you back I just didn't know how

But I'll learn, I'll read every book, and study every lesson

To return the love you showed me, the product of your affection

I swear I'd overdose on you if you let me, even through the changes

Through every mood: happy, hurt, or hateful and filled with so much anguish

But it’ll be painless, and every day I want you by my side

Always thinking of the first day we let our worlds collide

And how being without you would feel like a fate worse than suicide

Because you have my heart caged in, and it’s quite comfortable

I'd stay in your embrace forever just don't let me go

One thing is certain, I may never be able to love the way that you do

But that’s part of unique the reason that makes you, you

Your special to me, and there's something I'm just realizing

Even if we can't love the same way it doesn't mean we stop trying

You got my heart, no more renting, borrowing or leasing

When I think of us, I relate our ups and downs to the seasons

Though we're young, you've taught me so much and I'll always remember

The beauty of your spring, the warmness of your July, the rain in our fall

And the coldness of December.

Even on the coldest days,

The warm and beautiful ones are just around the corner

So we hold on to each other even tighter when it’s cold

Until the days where it gets warmer.

Part-Time Mother

All you part-time mothers are about to be disappointed
Nobody wanted to be the one to say it so I guess I'm self-appointed
Its funny how the more children are produced the more mothers are reduced
And I use the term mother by its biological means
Which means there is a difference between a mother and a mom
A mom will protect her children from any kind of harm
While a mother in its biological sense is just a women who gives birth
Bringing a child into this world and not giving them what they're worth
See I have a problem with these part-time mothers dressed in the latest fabric
When their children are wearing old hand-me-downs they kept up in the attic
Why not provide for your child more than yourself
Is it that much of a crime when we have to portray our wealth
Have to be seen in the flyest clothes, but nobody knows
That baby daddy is paying for these with his child support check from Lowes
See I have a problem with women who use their child, and yes it does bother
Seeing a women use their child as a tool to get back at its father
Holding a man for child support, but instead using that child's money to support her own lifestyle
Take him to court get more of his money based off the jealousy of seeing him with a new woman and you want to be hostile
See I got a problem with you part-time mothers who don't make your child you’re first priority
Worrying about your baby father's life, as if having his child gives you authority
And it’s true that some men don't hold to their duties but for the men that do
Why do you part-time mothers feel the need to make them suffer cause they're not with you
When you think about a part time job what do you think of?
Someone who is on the job but not quite all the time
Like the job doesn't have its full attention
Don't even bother to call to come in when we're shorthanded
Sometimes you work hard and sometimes you don't
Sometimes you put in some extra work and sometimes you won't
See I have a problem with some of you part-time mothers
But if you are a part-time mother then the other part of your time should be dedicated to your employment
Not spending it in the club all the time and trying to decide between boyfriends
For most of yall that’s how you got in that position in the first place
And some of you women choose not to grow up after having a child so all of your mistakes you made get retraced
Leads you back to the same place, think you find a soul mate, go on a couple dates
He cooks a couple plates, you let him get to third base back at your place
Then you become a part-time mother to another child, *Straight-face* -__-
See I got a problem with you part-time mothers, it’s something that hits home,
See I didn't even have a part-time mother; she was unknown till I was grown
You women think a baby doesn't understand things at that age
But they absorb everything you portray, anger, hurt and rage
So let that be a lesson,
You can hate me but I'm just passing a message
You have something special that you were blessed with
A child that needs to be kept safe in every essence
Treated like a first priority, loved, and nursed
So do positive things you would want them to learn
Stop wearing things to attract all that thirst
And put that part-time status away, and put your child first.

Her

There was once a time I would lay up at night
Wondering what my perfect women would be like
I thought of characteristics and physical features
If I got her how would I treat her
If she wouldn't open up her mind, how would I read her
If I were to tell her i love her, would my words reach her
But I love the fact that she's a mystery
Hopefully falling for you would prevent me from getting injury
Cause for her, I would carry the cross to my own crucifixion if
It would help her have more faith in me
And I could die on that cross and you could bury me in a tomb,
And I would rise on the 23rd hour just to prove,
I could not live a day without her.
It’s funny how sometimes I compare my nights to her
Cause every star in the sky aims at the moon
And in my eyes I'm that shooting star who'll get there soon
So when I find her, I won't let her go so easily
Everything we do is between me and you, so I'm sworn into secrecy
For her, I would count every star in the sky,
And find the one that most resembles the look in Her eye
When we share our moments together and I'm trying to decide
Exactly how to tell you, that you are the "Her" I've been looking for
And Her love got me feigning more than any drug at the convenient store
I told myself I should fight it but now I'm willing to go to war
Hoping these moments are just then beginning, and there’s more to explore
Cause at the end of the day, if I have Her then i don't need much more
For her, I would mark every second of the day after every time we part ways
Just to tell her that’s it’s been exactly 52,364 seconds since I got to say
That I love you, and hoping that you feel the same way,
Because for Her, there’s nothing I won't do,
I'm painting your toenails, drawing the little details
Holding conversations through, texts, tweets, and emails
Taking the password off my phone cause I don't have anything to hide
Letting you win arguments, because I'd be willing to set aside my pride
For her, I would be willing to go to war with anyone who doubts us
Because us being in our own little world just means they don’t know anything about us
They would see how happy we are and wanna crowd us
And I would laugh at you when I see you try to act tough
We would be secure in each other because we have trust,
And we have Us, and I have Her
And now I know after all this time I've been living my life backwards
And now i can proceed to move forward
Not having to worry about feeling cornered
Because she has my back, and I have hers
Knowing that we can handle anything that occurs
If I had Her in my life I wouldn't need to mislead
Other women who don't compare to Her,
When I try to think about past loves it’s all a blur
Forgetting those who don't hold a candle to Her,
And knowing what I have now, I prefer
And it’s funny the more I think about her
How I would love and never doubt her
How Her beauty blooms like the most beautiful flower
And how I don't ever want to be without her
I spend all this time wishing for her
But the only thing missing is Her.

What If You Knew...

Sometimes I used to think about walking away from it all
Despite all that I've accomplished sometimes you just hit a wall
Forgetting about the falling and rising it took me to get here
But let’s be clear, you couldn’t judge me on my worst day
I've felt like a winner in situations and still didn’t come in 1st place
Yea, I'm doing ok for myself now, but what do you know about my struggles
What do you know about trying to juggle 3 jobs and a fulltime student status
Thinking you can take it all on, but having that contribute to your madness
What do you know about going days not having any food in your fridge
Being too proud to reach out, pretending your friends fell of the grid
What do you know about not having any family to turn to
No support system to see to it that you can make it through
What do you know about growing up not knowing if you mom is dead or alive
Creating these fake images cause you never seen her with your own eyes
What do you know about witnessing your father doing drugs
Beating you, and torturing you because that’s how he shows “his love”
What do you know about having to wear the same clothes everyday for a year
Having to take the verbal abuse at school and pretend like you don't care
What do you know about being put through child services
Feeling unwanted at the same time as all this anger surfaces
What do you know about not having a roof over your head
Sleeping on the floor cause some group homes didn’t have any beds
What do you know about being homeless, yea you see them on the streets
But what if you knew that used to be me,
What if you knew I was that kid starving from not eating in days
What if you knew I was that kid abused and having to live life afraid
What if you knew I was that kid getting kicked out of school for not having good grades
What if you knew I was that kid everyone wanted to stay away from because he couldn’t control his rage
What if you knew all this, would you still look at me the same?
But yet we judge others and are so quick to throw dirt on their name
Assuming we know, but don’t even know about the background from where they came
But it’s true, the past can change you
Having nobody there in my darkest hours taught me to rely on myself
Having no food or shelter taught me how to provide for myself
Having no material items taught me how to appreciate my wealth
And after going through all that I can say is that, I'm proud of myself
Because I see people lose it over something so small
Thinking if they were me they wouldn’t be able to survive at all
I try to laugh to catch my anger, but I know
Not everyone experiences a life changing struggle
Not everyone can turn out different from a life full of trouble
But not everyone is meant to,
God gives his hardest battles to the strongest soldiers
And I'm thankful cause for years I've carried this weight
But now I can finally lift it off my shoulders
I made it this far, I still have a long ways to go
But I just wanted to tell you about me,
For all those people who think they already know...

Lesson Learned The Hard Way

I needed time, you needed love
You thought we should wait for sex, I thought we should rush
You thought I was what you needed, I told you don't try your luck
Didn’t think your emotions would get so involved, but then you got caught up
You wanted to protect yourself and I could understand that
But telling a man that, when we have our needs
It only gives us means to look at this as a challenge
And though this was far from a game to you
I thought it was interesting to see how much I became to you
The games I played, hearts I broke who knows what was the real cause
I mean when I was younger I believed in true love
And I've been through what I'm causing you don’t think I haven’t
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken into fragments
I've had a mountain dropped on my heart and watched it all shatter
I've had my heart on a sleeve and had it treated like it didn’t matter
I've put my all into someone and let their love change me
And had that same person turn around and play me
And though that's no excuse for my actions
All I can do is apologize to you
I had to learn the hard way, so we all go through it.
You loved me on the first night, your intuition even told you not to do it
You told me that you really liked me, I laughed like I was surprised
Then I held you close and stared you deep into your eyes
I and began to reciprocate a bunch sweet replies
But deep down every word of it was probably all a lie
People may ask why, but back then it was beyond my comprehension
Maybe I did it to release all that pent up tension
Maybe that was my way of trying to teach you a lesson
Or perhaps I just wanted to lead you on with some false affection
The games I played, hearts I broke who knows what was the real cause
I mean when I was younger I believed in true love
And I've been through what I'm causing you don’t think I haven’t
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken into fragments
I'm not perfect, and even when I try to love again
I come across the wrong one and I'm back at square one
I go up, love goes down, I go left, love goes right
I swear I'm looking for it, but why does it seem to be so out of sight
Since then I been keeping my heart guarded with the thickest armor
Maybe its karma,
But I swear some of these women could have pierced through it if their words were
any sharper
They say a weak heart hurts others, When the L word was thrown around I took cover
Ducking and dodging, and though I been hiding
The truth remains, I was scared.
Scared of that mountain, like a running back being hit so hard for the first time
Scared of losing those pieces, like my contacts just fell out of my eye
Scared of trying again, like that person who's failed his permit test 9 timesS
cared of having to tell people I’m good, when that’s really all just a lie
The games I played, hearts I broke I know what was the real cause
I've been hurt before when I truly believed in real love
And I've been through what I'm causing you don’t ever think I haven’t
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken into fragments
And even now, I'm still looking for those fragments.

A Hate Poem

Man do I hate you,
And the fact that you can make me hate you
Makes me hate you so much more
I mean I gave you my all and you still asked for more
I told you I loved you and you still treated this as a chore
Like it was something you had to do but really didn’t want to
As if I'm the nigga whose holding you back
Remember the days you used to blow up my phone to hear my voice
Remember that?
Remember when you used to cook for me when I got home from school
Remember that?
And now I'm wondering what happened to that girl and where she's at
Because it does in fact appear that you’re different
When i started to care you seem to have gotten a little distant
But what you SAY and what you WANT are two different things
I gave you what you SAID you wanted but what good did that bring
I mean you complain more than ever and I hate you more than ever
But saying that makes me look weak, cause the truth remains
I wanna go back to the days when you made my heart beat
But that shit is a wrap, after all I've seen too much to go back
I seen you turn from that sweet girl to a ratchet bitch
And i hate using that word but right now, it fits
“When we were together we never turned our backs on each other,
And now that we're separated we can’t stand one another”
Avant spoke the truth in that song
We reached a point where we can barely get along
Logic doesn’t seem to help and I can’t fix this shit by myself
So I guess that means I let it go, and if I want some sex I'll let you know
“I only came here for two reasons”, that’s for your love and you loyalty
I miss those days where you used to spoil me
I mean I ain’t never have that shit growing up
So you taking care of me made it easy for me to open up
But nowadays people put on a front and change once they get comfortable
Damn, look what the fuck this is coming too
Me writing hate poems, while you send hate texts
Me saying I'm done with you, while you saying not yet
Then me ignoring you for days thinking it’s done, it’s over with
Then you popping up out of nowhere, even when I said I quit
It’s hard to take my own advice and sometimes I wish I could go back in time,
To the day when we first met, and just walk away with no regrets
Cause what our relationship amounted to was a bunch of bullshit
You did this and you did that, we both are wrong but we never wanna admit.
We talked about Love Pains and how those seem to hurt
But with all this anger I feel towards you now, I know this will never work.
So this is closure.
All those fighting to make it work days are over, and I proudly handled it like a solider
You may not have been the one for me,
But thanks to you now I know for sure that I'm getting closer.