My SOUL-ution

There was once a time I never thought I'd make it to see 23
But I have to thank God for this gift, that’s why we call it the Present
"Be grateful for what you got some people got it rougher than you
and they're suffering too", Words my grandmother said.
So when I think about my problems I feel ashamed that sometimes I complain
Yea, I had to walk around in the same clothes and shoes for 4 years straight,
but truthfully I'm just thankful God gave me those clothes in the 1st place
Nowadays I have to think the lowest out of people I used to think the highest of
Hating someone you used to care about so much is the most painful kind of love
I hit rock bottom on more than one occasion but instead of complaining
I'm using that as motivation and continuing to praise Him
But I'm doing better now, aiming for the top like a barber
Only thing I chase is money so the only bitch that can get to me is Karma
Someone said I changed for the worst, I said it was for good reasons
Dealing with disappointments and the knowledge that people will change like the seasons
Loyalty is rare and I decided that I should wear my bullet proof vest backwards
So if you gonna stab me in my back I already made sure I was prepared for it bastards
And more than ever relationships are a curse
Only because we accept the love we think we deserve
And I've learned, that Trust is a lot like paper
if it crumbles it will never be able to become perfect again
So instead of preparing for the beginning most people prepare for the end
So i wish to live with this below freezing feeling in my chest
I put my energy in the wrong places and gave my time to the wrong people
You only live once, but sometimes i pray that there'll be a sequel
To redo some mistakes, and take some of these regrets away
I’m still looking for a way,
But now i try to carry the load of all my baggage
I carry the pain in my heart in one hand and my current struggles in the other
but i still manage to find time and bring my hands together to thank God
My greatest skill is that i can get up after being knocked down so many times
Knocked down so hard that all I could see is stars
And the sight of those just gave me some inspiration and my determination
Haters who loved seeing me down became my motivation
If I don’t do better for my sake I'll do better for yours
Those who wanted to see me stay down all those times
and not knowing God was testing me I suffered through it more
But got up again, thanked Him, and kept it moving
I'm such a winner, I’m still currently a sinner, not perfect don’t try to be
but don't lie about it either, I'll get it right one day
But living in the moment is my guilty pleasure
Still I put my heart and soul on the line every time i rhyme
and for all those times I would seek an answer
This poetry became my way of opening up my soul
For the people who loved seeing my pain and my downfalls this became retribution
Y’all became part of the reason i was reborn as the SOUL-ution
So i wear that title in my name more arrogantly than before
All my struggles and all my pains are the reason i made it to the top floor
Because if it wasn’t for pain i wouldn’t know what true happiness feels like
I wouldn’t be inclined to accept the rain in order to appreciate the sun light
So the question i asked myself is how will I be able to make it through my struggles
I understand that the sun will shine, even when it rains
Happiness is always there, even in the face of pain
Consistency will always remain, even in the midst of change
So to accept the things i cannot change is a part of evolution
But to face my doubts and fears head on and open my heart,
That became my SOUL-tion

I Like You

I like you doesn't seem to hold the words to say
That I think about you every night and day
But I like you seems to be what I say to you
All in the hopes of hearing "I like you to"
Or I like you more,
Still describes how my eyes get lost into yours
Hypnotized by your eye-ris
And I know its a risk, taking it a step further
Saying things that should be unheard of
Especially this soon, but what I really want to tell u is
I love to see the reflection of the night sky in your eyes
I see the shape of warm snowflakes like a winter in July
I like the way you wake up in the morning, worried about your hair
and I'll laugh at you and smile at you and remind you i don’t care
you’re always so beautiful, exotic and sexy
I daydream of days i can relax with you next to me
Laying in bed with you seems to be my therapy
I feel like I’m on a cloud wishing you were up there with me
I wish i could take you to the moon so we could be alone
but since your already outta this world you would feel at home
but home is where the heart is and i built a nice little condo
And i mean the things i say to you,
I don’t wanna keep playing any games with you
lets take it a step further, i really like you alot
I want to be the best you ever had even though you been hurt
I’m not gonna contribute to the lack of luck you had with guys
dudes who don’t know how to act and to you its no surprise
i could tell you I’m different but words don’t seem to hold no life
so instead I’ll let my life with you turn into words
and write every page and chapter with moments together
moments we wish would last forever
moments we know couldn’t of happened any better
and I’ll look you in the eyes and tell you, "I really like you"
and let you feel how you should when someone cares
living a relationship not having any fears
My candle of "Like" has been burning slowly
Not sure what happens with this one goes out
But losing "Like" isn't something you should be worried about
I really like you,
but after saying it so many times it feels so weak
pathetic actually, in so many ways so meek
But love on the other hand,
That’s a word you could run from, a word you could be scared of
a word that saying could make your heart beat like a drum
I wouldn’t mislead you, hurt you, or judge you
but i mean what i say when i tell you I love you

i Write

I find myself struggling with inspiration
to write about something but whats my motivation
what story should i choose and what event should i address
and i cant think of anything...
then i think about it clearly, about what i hold on to dearly
its not my current situations, but the problems i was facing
as a child,
and then i realize that im not the only one who never got to speak
so this is why i write, i write for them not for me
i write for the kids struggling not knowing what to do
i write for the young boys thugging trying to fit in to be cool
i write for the little girl screaming daddy get off me
while her mom is only in the other room drinking her coffee
i write for the infants who was abandoned by their family
not knowing what it is so i know it can be damaging
i write for the little boy who's running in the streets
following the footsteps of his dad, but not knowing where they lead
i write for the little girls who pushing out all these kids
not knowing how to love them, because nobody ever did
i write for the young girl who was raped and killed by a uncle
never made the news because they didnt wanna stir up any trouble
i write for the young boys who do crimes just for attention
in and out of jail but never claim to learn there lesson
i write for the parents who drink away all there problems
ignoring there kids, and faced with situations not knowing how to solve them
i write for the dads who actually stayed in his kids life
but not being able to hold a job and not being able to provide
i write for the moms who have been left by there babys fathers
and struggling to take care of her kids, but cant even give them any water
working two jobs just to make enough to be broke
and still making it to spelling bees and soccer games
still providing christmas trees and candy canes
still managing to be all that she can be
when inside she's dealing with a pain that nobody can see
but she fights to be a mom and raise her children right
and when her kids take the wrong path, i can feel her start to die
i write for the millions of children who wake up everyday ready to die
never having anyone to love, tell them that their special in their eyes
i write for the young boy, educated and determined
but was faced with cancer and unfortunately lost a battle
no more shining star in the sky, but more tears in their eyes
i write for the young girl straight A student
got into a good college and had something to prove
self-motivated girl carried her own weight and pulled it
but was walking home late and killed by a stray bullet
i write for the parents who have to bury their children first
the rain doesnt seem to stop, the light taken away by a black hearst
the death never seems to end, and pain never seems to mend
but holding all that in, and wishing you could scream
i write for you so you can let go of that pain that you keep
yea i know its hard, but how you gonna live
with bottled up emotions because you never forgive
i write for those who smile but not knowing what its worth
and nobody knows there pain there just smiling when it hurts
i write for those who cry cause they havent got it out this long
dealing with it everyday because they thought it made them strong
i write for those who cant seem to ever stop stressing
faced with it every day and missing out on all there blessings
i write for those who dont have anyone to turn to
i write for those who never had any words to use
i write for the millions of people who cant seem to use there voices
i write for the millions more whos lives were taking over dumb choices
i write for the stories put to the side over all those irrelevant factors
i write for those who have a story to tell the ones that really matter
i know we all have our problems but this is nothing new
but there all millions of people out there who have it rougher than you
yea i may have a story and problems deep as the sea
but im writing for them cause this is bigger than me
im writing for all of you cause this is bigger than me..

Just Cause it's Wednesday

Today is a day i think about you a lot
Not different from any other day really
I just wanted you to understand how I’m feeling
I merely write u this for all the nights we missed
Not having you there to but despite of this
My sights still is missed
Meaning i don’t see no others
And she does the same
Our love can withstand fire, wind and rain
Trials and tribulations, anger, hurt and pain
But our love keeps getting up and up again
We portray positive predominant portraits of love
Circumstances affect the possibility of proper love
It’s painful without you present, cause you’re love is like a drug
Id go crazy for your kiss but I’m settled by just your hugs
Its rough, going days not having my moonlight
The suns nice but its not there when there’s no light
Meaning in dark situations you manage to brighten mine
Its taken time, being able to let you in
But I’m happy that i did and i feel like i just win
A medal of honor, a prize, trophy or the lottery
I know that’s its love cause I’ve given u a lot of me
What do you call it when you put someone else before yourself
Not being selfish but selfless, forgetting wellness or wealth
Sacrificing sanity cause love is insanity,
Like id be without you
Sometimes u call me crazy but the difference is,
I’m crazy about you
I know its hard to believe
But the way that you and me
Seem to always be on key
Were like autumn is to leaves
Cause when you're there I’m never to far
Even if I’m not there I’m still in your heart
When you look at old pictures and smile
Even though there from Tuesday
Today maybe be Wednesday but to me
Its still been too many days in between
So i think of what i could do with the time that i been given
I’m grateful for our Christmases, valentines and thanksgivings
Not to many know love unfortunately have not savored
But bless isn’t the word for me, I’ve been divinely favored
when i say im trying to get to know your insides im talkin about mentally
your mind is exquisite and i just want the recipe
passion and persistence turns pain into progress
so invest time, to let the path of our minds connect
being around you seems to stimulate my soul
and being without you seems to boil my heart whole
but its still the best feeling being in your presence
its a present and im grateful for the days we are blessed with
We could have our fun days, chill days, and our pretend days
But this is my appreciation for you Just cause its Wednesday...

Maintenance Man (2011)

It takes time to love someone whos been hurt
and u have to be willing to do extra to make it work
but tending to a broken heart takes delicacy,
persistance, love, and relevancy
so when i think bout how ya hearts been damaged
i think of ways to fix and manage
i think of how i can repair ya wounds
and patch them up like get well soon
i think of ways to improve the marks
and love you past your beauty scars
i thought and came up with the craziet plan
that i could be your maintenance man
im more than just a plumber that lays the pipe
im more than an electrician that turns u on like a light
i can do more than all the sexual things
but i am also capable of making you scream
i come when u need i fix whats been broke
i come with many features like a digital remote
you dont need the outside help cause baby i do it all
i show up on time and i never miss a call
if i were to be ya maintenance man
id repair ya heart safetly, i can
put it back together cause it was damaged by a fool
so ima need the time to fix it so ill be gettin out my tools
no profit needed just your satisfaction is my goal
the interest of your mind, body and im workin towards ya soul
im inspired by the way you seem to carry so much pain
and you manage to put a smile on that keeps the hurt away
but im here to make that smile stay so u will never have to cry
unless those tears are tears of joy then i hope they fill your eyes
cause when that hurt fills your eyes
i can see you start to hide
beneath the pain inside your soul u need to be revived
so until your back alive im here to tell u that i cherish you
i can make ya pain go away faster than a cold with theraflu
youve been carryin a burden and its time u lighten the load
i see a sunlight behind the clouds so let your expressions show
and when i see you really smile, a smile from your heart
then i have finished my services and your maintanence man will depart
but i will not leave u, just my role as a repair man is complete
but now im the man who'll love you like a new love should be
just me just you, we start fresh and brand new
no more hurt or no more pains
just enjoy our chance to love again

I'll Be That Asshole (2010)

Who told u it was cool for u to be a model
when most models got coke bottle shapes and u not hot tho
what is the point for you havin ya pictures takin
when u look like a soggy slim jim in the face
falsifyin ya selfesteem to make u feel better
and u was the one who really thought doin that was clever
im not one to hate but bein a model is a profession
some dont qualify and im sure youll learn that lesson
when they say "young man" what did u come here for
and u say "im a girl" and they laugh u out the door
im not tryna break selfesteems
im tryna break thru these false human means
why you chose a path in which u dont qualify
inherting greatness but placing it to the side to be in a public eye
if your not attractive and u need proactive dont play yaself
be passionate get ya graduates stack ya bread and build ya wealth
not everyone can be blessed like that
but fortunately God gave u something u were good at
...who told u it was cool to be a rapper
when u have a better chance at being a actor
because all u doin is lying and create a false persona
sayin u robbin niggas and shootin niggas when u live in arizona
the suburbs part with the green grass and the tall trees
but u sayin in ya rhymes u kill niggas and spark leaves
u say you got street cred but nobody even knows you
and u lame with all the shit u say thats why nobody promotes you
you think its cool to be what u see in the media on tv
but half of those niggas sayin dog u dont even wanna be like me
cause u sacrifice you personal life u cant go or chill no more
u need to move like 15 times cause u have new groupies at ya door
not sayin thats not cool but what happens when u in court
and she got a child 8 months old n she lookin for child support
u thought it be cool u just hit it and get some brain
but u stuck with her for 18years and ya money down the drain
havin to be seen as a public icon in everthing u do
cause people make mistakes sometime but its 100x worse for you
not everyone can be blessed like that
but fortunately God gave you something u were good at
...who told u it was cool to be fuckin every dude
you 14 years old n you got somethin in ya stomach not food
u thought shit was cool and u really like the feelin
but ya ass is 8months pregnant now n now ur not appealin
so the dude that u was messin with decided that he should leave
and now u stuck raisin his baby while he out there plantin seeds
and for u to get dragged into it just makkin u seem worse
cause now u crazy baby mama and it haunts u like a curse
how the fuck did shit happen like that n why u rushin so much
it would have been better to wait a while but u was anxious to fuck
dudes will say anything just to get u in the bed
he slingin shit and confusin u and messin with ya head
alot of people wish they can take that back
but fortuantely God gave you somehting to keep your smile intact
...i say what i feel and i dont worry bout the reperucssions
but you need to let your goals fuel your motivation to reach for something
but we dont have all life to notice the mistakes thats right infront of us
instead people actin dumb and it make it look bad for all of us
stop bein dumb think bout what u doin before you do it
this is everyday life u can see it everywhere to prove it
u might not wanna hear it but shit is real u lose respect
be who God wanted u to be and not a fake person with a bad rep
if u feel offended in the least then jump off a fuckin flag pole
somebody had to say it so i guess ill be that asshole...

Poetry (Seductive) 2010

As we walk in to the room lights off and we can feel the pressure
i take her to the bed take her shirt off and drop it on the dresser
things may get critical 2morro but im not bout to stress her
cause we both part of 2 different families this will not be remembered
i had a lil to much to drink and thats no excuse for this
but soon as we locked eyes after that the next thing lead to a kiss
i usually dont do this but right now im to caught up in the moment
i lay her on the bed she talkin softly tellin me she want it
man this freaky talkin shit be havin me thinkin about a part 2
but that isnt possible and part 1 will be forgotten along with you
so we here be clear that this a one night stand
so im not catchin feelins cause in the mornin u goin back 2 ya man
i usually take my time but why not go all out for this, the moments free
i tell her mama after tonight u gone get hooked off just this dose of me
i wanna tell u some things in ya ear baby i call it poetry
u dont have to like it we can skip it and u can pose for me
but i just wanna say some words and get u wet with my poetry
...i lift her legs up high kiss her ankles watch her reaction change
she said boy stop playin i told her baby this far from a fuckin game
i put my tongue on her thighs her eyes start to dialate
i told her youll be cummin ima eat it like a dinner plate
by the way she reactin i can tell that she never had it like this
so im inside of her thighs i get closer and i gently place a kiss
the way she moanin turns me on and she knows it cause she hears my voice
i move my hands up her thighs closer and i can tell shes moist
i look her in the eyes lick my lips and she already know
i take her panties off and im in between like a field goal
then i told her tonight u gone get hooked off this does of me
i wanna tell u some things in ya ear baby i call it poetry
u dont have to like it we can skip it and u can pose for me
but i just wanna say some words and get u wet with my poetry
...i take off her shoes and her toes got that red candy paint
i understand she got a man but to her im the man he aint
so i lick from her toes to her thighs and watch her roll her eyes
im in her naval she cryin out im i said girl we can be loud inside
im in between her legs and said YES as she grippin the sheets
i told her i got more instore dont rush it baby or you gone be to weak
i got a couple tricks and some things i need to show to her tonight
cause when i give it to her good i want her to feel like she bout to fly tonight
yea cloud 9 would be below us as i put her legs up on my shoulders
im grippin her thighs tighter as her climax is gettin closer
and im swimmin in her water
im ready to cut, like a barber
i felt her clinch up as she started to scratch all over my body
i dive a lil deeper im a professioal girl this aint no hobby
i dont wana wait i give it till she cant take no more
her body starts shiverin and i told her i got more instore
then i told her baby tonight youll be hooked off this does of me
i wanna tell u some things in ya ear babe i call it poetry
u dont have to like it we can skip it and u can pose for me
but i just wanna say some words and get u wet with my poetry
by now she cant control her voice
she escalated from being moist
now its like a waterfall
and i can hear her moans through her jaw
i smile at her i told her boo this is just the beginning
i can tell you gettin weak on me girl no use in pretendin
but she quickly change it up and now im laying down on my back
im feelin things i never felt and shes lovin the way that i react
she got my eyes rollin im like damn girl you goin hard on me
she speed it and and move her head and then she slow it down on me
she told me ima have u feenin when im finished u gone dream bout me
ima do some things and say some words just call it poetry
u gone be missin me later, like im oversees
but right now im all ears boo tell me some of your poetry